Meditation: From suicidal to being at peace with myself. This year has changed me forever. |
- From suicidal to being at peace with myself. This year has changed me forever.
- Small triumphs of mindfulness
- Half a YEAR of daily meditation! (whooooosh)
- Has meditation actually changed your life?
- Kemetic Yoga from Egypt
- I have a LOT more emotional resilience since meditating and I enjoy doing the small things in life.
- Day 23 of consistent daily meditation (Been meditating for over a year though)
- Looking for awesome yoga teachers ��
- Meditating at morning or night?
- Facing pain through meditation
- I recently started to feel the anxiety, panic attack, worry as with symptoms of: warmth in my face, the sweat in my heads, and all the blood in my face and stomach flipping. Hold onto the pain and then release it. Sometimes I try to hold it longer so I can make sure it wont come back.
- Have been having trouble meditating, any suggestions?
- I meditated for the first time today ��
- I believe I visualized my heart chakra today.
- Achieving full lotus
- If you can only meditate twenty minutes one time each day, would meditating in the morning have less?
- Releasing muscle pain
- How to manage with noises?
- Best rain music with seagull natural sound
- Christian Meditation benefits?
- Anxiety from being present
- Waking Up by Sam Harris free month
| From suicidal to being at peace with myself. This year has changed me forever. Posted: 17 Nov 2020 11:32 AM PST Please bear with me. This is going to be a long post. I just finished an evening meditation session and I am in the mood to write as it helps clear my mind and posting my thoughts here instead of writing in my journal might help all of you lovely people in this community. I am a guy in my early-twenties and I came abroad to get my degree since there are few oppurtunities and resources in my home country. I work 6-days a week in a research lab where I am constantly on my feet, performing experiments with cells. I don't know how familiar normal people are with the work we do but it is constant mental brainstorming and organization to run experiments smoothly. One mistake and your entire day's or even week's effort goes down the drain. For example, I would be working with 10 or 15 samples together and I would be treating all these samples with different protocols so there would be a lot of things running in parallel in the lab. Experiments can run for hours and on somedays I can't even take a lunch break until late afternoon or evening. Meditation and planning my work before I start has been immensely helpful with managing such work. I wake up every morning before 6 so I have enough time to "prepare" for the day. After taking a cold shower, I meditate for 60 minutes with a lot of breathing exercises (Pranayama) in between. Then I write down my day's plan in as much detail as I can so that I don't have to stress out and waste time thinking about what to do next. Such micromanagement often fails but that's okay, just having a written plan for the day can do wonders for someone like me who can't think straight under stress. At this point I must clarify that this is not my dream job. I like doing this compared to all the other things I have tried and imagined myself doing but I know that this is not something I can do for the rest of my life. Scientists in white lab coats look cool to the outside world but in reality the relatively less pay and job insecurity for the amount of work and the hours we work is crazy and absolutely not worth it. I don't really know how I ended up here. It was partly because I took decisions based on fear and escapism and didn't really think deeply about my life. So now let me come down to my story. After living away from my family for a year, especially during the lockdown in March/April, I started thinking very deeply about my life. It felt like someone had wiped the mud off the windshield. This alone time gave me so much perspective about why I made the decisions I made and I realised that I have been living the past two decades of my life in a dream state, completely out of touch with reality. I was not at all mindful and this realisation was absolutely shattering. It feels like it was not me who made all these decisions and lived through all these years. I was NOT in control. At all. I was living so mindlessly. I deleted all of my social media accounts and realised how fake most of my relationships were. I cried multiple times a day and went on writing in my journal for hours and hours until my hands were literally paining. I did not talk to my girlfriend, friends and parents for weeks and I would hang up in a few minutes. I was unemployed (because of the lockdown), in a foreign land, had realised that I had never really consciously "chosen" to be here. It was terrifying. My depressive episodes were so bad that I did not sleep until sunrise because I did not have the courage to face the next day. Everytime I woke up from a dream, I would break down crying or my heart would start pounding because I had finally woken up to my reality which was a hundred times more horrible than the dream which I was having. This went on for months before I visited a psychotherapist but even that didn't really help. My parents were so worried about me that my mom would cry while talking to me since she wanted me to come back but I couldn't because of Corona. They were helpless too. I tried reaching out to my friends here but they acted as if nothing was "seriously" wrong with me and nobody cared deeply enough. I remember telling one of my friends who is usually the most empathetic one in my circle that I was seeing a therapist (which I was not comfortable to tell anyone else) and she didn't even bother to check up on me in the following days knowing that I live alone and I am a foreigner with no emotional support. Before this experience, I used to think that peeople who take their own lives do it because they didn't share their problems or reach out for help. But trust me, I let people hear my cries for help. I went to the point of directly telling them that I was depressed and things were horrible on my end. Yet no one bothered to even drop a text. Not a single person. But I don't blame them. It is a cruel world and most people are too busy fighting their own problems to have time for others. Very few people will care. If you have someone in your life who cares, please treasure them and don't let them go. You don't realise how lucky you are. I never intentionally started meditating but I had reached a point in my life where the only thing I wanted to do was breathe and close my eyes. This is the most special part about my experience with meditation. I discovered it unintentionally, almost innocently. Breathing was all I could do. I had no energy to even take a shower. I wanted my brain to stop thinking and obsessing over the negative thought patterns. I would sit in this position for an hour and by the end of it, my heartrate came back to normal and I would feel better. I started doing it multiple times a day followed by intense, free-flow journalling where I would write down everything that came to mind to the point that there was nothing left. It was basically like draining away all my negative thoughts onto the paper. It really helped. I wish I could go into more details but over the next few months, with the help of meditation, journalling, being vulnerable and opening up to have long, honest conversations with friends and family, and exercising, I have learned how to cope with my mental illness. I am still not in the best place in life but hey, I atleast don't wake up wishing I was never born! The lockdown has lifted and I finally started working again. I have learned how to own my decisions and I am now using my educational investment as a leverage to eventually transition into what I want to do. To be honest I think that my brain and personality type is more alligned towards the arts and humanities but I was scared to take that career path because there's not much money in fields like philosophy or psychology and I don't come from a very rich family. Eventually I want to settle down in a small town, be self-employed, grow my own food, write books, make Youtube videos about the things I am passionate about and own a small business (prefarably a small restaurant). I wish I could go on about other aspects of my life which changed due to meditation but I guess this is enought for now. Take care everyone and keep breathing and living mindfully :) P.S. Please excuse my English, it is not my first language. [link] [comments] |
| Posted: 17 Nov 2020 07:33 PM PST Today's small triumph, thanks to a regular meditation habit... I got home from a long day driving for Uber. I guess I was feeling a bit lonely, although I've become a very chatty driver, I never even try to take these connections anywhere. I was ruminating on how last week I'd had the enviable problem of two romantic possibilities, but now neither of them seemed to be panning out. This lonely, disappointed, empty feeling turned into the idea of texting a friend, a young, depressed, sarcastic (but loyal friend) guy and stressing the humorous aspects, such as one of the guys involved being much younger than me and the other much older, to get some kind of laughter, response, and validation. My moment of mindfulness was suddenly PAUSING and realizing what was happening and that, actually, this always makes me feel worse. I don't really like how I keep reinforcing this image of myself as the clown, the ridiculous person whose attempts to achieve love (and money and any other kind of happiness) inevitably slip on the banana peel. I realize that while consciously I assert myself as proudly outrageous and trying my best to find happiness, my subconscious pattern undermines me with this false image based on past disappointments, perceptions of my sins and faults as too horrible for anyone to ever treat me as valuable, and fear to ever really try or commit to anything, and likes to cling to the idea that I'm a joke, pretending I'm only joking I'm a joke, and attracts people who will validate that negative picture. I realize that I'm beginning to really not agree and not want to agree and to act different. [link] [comments] |
| Half a YEAR of daily meditation! (whooooosh) Posted: 17 Nov 2020 05:18 PM PST I posted here about my experience when I hit the 5-month mark a month ago and I loved connecting with all of you. It felt wrong not to reflect (celebrate?) on passing HALF a YEAR of daily meditation! I'm flabbergasted. It began somewhat innocuously, and I continued because hey, it felt nice and I seemed more clearheaded. If you'll permit me to rewind my life to when I first started meditating, everything was great! I was dating the man I wanted to marry. I had an amazing, supportive friend group. I loved the career that I had. (Or so I thought.) And then… dun dun dun. (Forgive me if you've read my last post, there will be some overlap.) I… * Broke up with my boyfriend. (Looking back, it was borderline abusive.)
Quit social media completely.
I thought meditating would make me this spiritual, esoteric gangster touting peace at every opportunity I could. Ha! Yeah right. This half a year has violently showed me everything in my life that needed to be cleaned. It pushed me into a painful, healthy, and at times agonizing period of self-growth. I quit caffeine, sugar, and wheat one night when I realized that engorging myself before sleep was making me feel awful. I have tried a million times to adhere to a fad diet, attempting to count calories, telling myself tomorrow I will make a change… and ultimately failing. I'm making a very slow peace with my body. I switched to intermittent fasting (eating between 11am and ending 3pm-6pm) and I haven't looked back since. From my last post, I couldn't understand why I was in pain with meditating. Certain chakras felt sticky, blocked, blech. The diet changed cleared all of that. Now I'm working on healing myself, which is even more terrifying. I thought I would arrive at half a year different than how I felt now. To be honest, I almost feel … disappointed. The last three weeks I started addressing some really deep trauma, I mean things that had happened when I was 3 years old (I'll spare you the details) and working through a very painful arc of shitty, traumatic relationships that have plagued me for years. I really thought I had cleaned myself out. I mean, I went to Peru, drank the medicine of Ayahuasca, felt healed, moved on, life was good. Right? Wrong. sigh I don't have all the answers. Healing is unbelievably messy. Would I have ever approached these traumas had I not been meditating? Maybe not. It's terrible, lonely, heart-breaking, humiliating work and the kind of work I truly had to go alone through. But there has been a silver lining in some of the clouds. I met a few people who helped me along my path. I threw myself into filmmaking and applied to university to finally write a memoir. I learned about boundaries for the first time in my adult life after not understanding why I had been assaulted over 10 times. Unbelievably, checks out of nowhere found themselves into my hands when I was feeling destitute and not knowing how I could continue. I realized after many career paths that I am an artist more than anything and stopped beating myself up for trying to fit in analytic places. The meditation at this point for me is 40 minutes and feels routine. All it does is give me space. Hope. And a little bit of light. One. Day. At. A. Time. (Whew.) [link] [comments] |
| Has meditation actually changed your life? Posted: 17 Nov 2020 08:36 PM PST |
| Posted: 17 Nov 2020 04:30 AM PST So I've done yoga for a long time now. But I only recently learned about this style from Ancient Egypt, called Kemetic Yoga. Apparently, it's older than yoga from India, and many of the poses are based on the Egyptian Gods and Goddesses (I have an Isis tattoo on my back, so I thought that was pretty cool). Anyway, give it a try! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! Stay strong! Stay calm xx [link] [comments] |
| I have a LOT more emotional resilience since meditating and I enjoy doing the small things in life. Posted: 17 Nov 2020 10:10 AM PST I find now since meditating that I have much more emotional resilience to feeling the ups and downs of life. Not that I don't feel them, no quite the opposite, but I can allow for them knowing that it will pass. Also I notice that I now really enjoy just doing the small things in life. Getting things done. Chores, cleaning, etc. Today I took my car to the mechanic and got a loner car. I was just really enjoying the experience of having done that and driving a different car lol. [link] [comments] |
| Day 23 of consistent daily meditation (Been meditating for over a year though) Posted: 17 Nov 2020 01:18 PM PST Anxiety is def easier to handle. If I notice my anxiety getting the best of me, it's usually because I haven't meditated enough that day. Psychedelic vibes come in waves. For example, there are times where I just feel super present as fuck and I'm in awe of how present I am. I am no longer handling problems the way I used to. I would either bitch and complain to others (haven't done this in awhile) or spend a night self loathing. Or I would escape using excessive pot or alcohol. Now, i just sit with my thoughts and come back to the present. I'm able to think of solutions much clearer from this mindset rather than a mindset that works off emotions. Meditation has taught me that thinking negatively will not help out any situation ever. Also, talking bad to yourself isn't okay, ever. We need to learn how to control our thoughts so we don't create an ugly world for ourselves. As I reflect back, I don't even recognize that person who would talk down on himself. It was a huge waste of time. Another great benefit I notice is that I'm becoming more brave. I now recognize fear for what it is and I'm starting to rid fear out of my life. I noticed how much fear has held me back for years. Meditation is teaching me that there is nothing to fear and we just need to step out of that fearful mindset. I meditate a few times a day. Tryin to get a schedule started though. For example, 1 hour in the morning and 1 in the afternoon. Right now I just meditate when I have down time, which has been quite often d/t covid and WFH. Longer the sessions, the better. Thanks for reading. [link] [comments] |
| Looking for awesome yoga teachers �� Posted: 18 Nov 2020 02:00 AM PST Hi there! I represent a new yoga app Zenia 🧘 We're looking for new instructors at the moment. If you want to expand your audience, host online yoga classes, and earn more, feel free to complete a form on our website 👉 https://zenia.app/ I hope my post is okay, I didn't want to break your rules! [link] [comments] |
| Meditating at morning or night? Posted: 18 Nov 2020 01:19 AM PST Hey y'all, just wanted some advice on how to set up my daily routine if that's okay. So I'm a newbie to meditation and even physical activities like taking the time to stretch daily. And I noticed that because I like to really lengthen both activities, I've been processing doing both in the morning because I worry about getting lazy afterwards and not getting work done. So, I decided to move one of them to right before bedtime and I don't know which of the two to move? Meditation makes more sense in the morning but so does stretching. Does anybody do both consistently? What do you think? [link] [comments] |
| Facing pain through meditation Posted: 18 Nov 2020 12:33 AM PST Hi! I took a class in college about conflict in interpersonal relationships. We touched on the benefits of meditation, for yourself, and for interpersonal interactions. I'm a firm believer in the benefits, but not consistent with meditating. As I sometimes meditate or do yoga, I find I love coming back to my breath. I love it, but still a beginner. I'm hoping to become more disciplined to practice at least a few times every week. The past three times I've done a guided meditation, after around 15-20 minutes in, I feel pain and tears come up from a loss I had last year. I usually chose to ignore this pain rather than face it. Yesterday when meditating, I feel like I might have been healed from the pain. Can anyone share a similar experience, where painful memories come up while meditating, and did anything resolve during/after meditating? Thanks! [link] [comments] |
| Posted: 17 Nov 2020 04:30 PM PST I try not to distract myself with other thoughts or "binge" the pain. or try to numb it or talk myself into to it because clearly that doesn't work for me. Sometimes, I try to retrieve it again just to be done with it but it wont come up. Do you have any similar experience or advise how to become better at it? [link] [comments] |
| Have been having trouble meditating, any suggestions? Posted: 17 Nov 2020 07:58 PM PST I've been feeling frustrated while meditating the past week or so. Each time I've tried I just become distracted or confused. I used to have very deep and healing meditations that lasted up to an hour or more, but lately they've been short and choppy. Any tips? [link] [comments] |
| I meditated for the first time today �� Posted: 17 Nov 2020 03:57 PM PST I meditated for what i believe 15 or 30 min , i feel super relaxed , I am stressed no more , my bones , muscles and every part of my body is sooo relaxed , im experiencing inner peace "] , i feel hella fresh and so does my mind , if i got this much results in a single day for meditating in less than an average meditator meditates (1H i believe) , i wonder what will happen if i meditate for an hour everyday for 30 days 😁 [link] [comments] |
| I believe I visualized my heart chakra today. Posted: 17 Nov 2020 11:17 PM PST This was my first time working on my energy points, when I started focusing on my chest I saw this circle appear, and not very clearly but definitely was some kind of flower with a triangle in it. What does this mean? And what does doing this do for a person? Thank you. [link] [comments] |
| Posted: 17 Nov 2020 07:07 PM PST I have been trying to achieve full lotus for some time now but the progress is slow and I am not even sure if I will get to that level. For sake of encouragement, I was wondering if there are anyone here who can share his/her experience from going no/half lotus to full lotus. Specifically, how long it took you to achieve it and what were your main stretching exercises to make it. (Right now I can do half lotus "almost" comfortably.) [link] [comments] |
| Posted: 17 Nov 2020 02:06 PM PST I can only sit once each day due to my schedule. I've found that meditating seems to have a bigger bang for the buck when I do it in the afternoon. Perhaps maybe because I'm a bit more stressed. When I meditate in the morning, I feel a bit more alert and calm already, with less judgment and thoughts bubbling up to the surface, so it almost feels like an over-extension of my sleep. Am I wrong? Would love to know if there is an ideal number or hours after waking up in which meditation is most optimal. [link] [comments] |
| Posted: 17 Nov 2020 06:50 PM PST I have only meditated a few times. Mostly in university to relieve anxiety. I have chronic lower back pain from working at a desk job. Last night I was meditating , but instead of clearing my mind , I kind of let my mind go loose (if that make sense). I un- tenced my muscles , almost like feeling them from the inside. This relieved the pain in my back for about 24hrs. Just wondering if this is a real thing and if there any resources I can look into. [link] [comments] |
| Posted: 17 Nov 2020 03:42 PM PST I have neighbour. It is not so loud, but time to time I heard when she walking in her flat. I feel angry when I hear that sound. I use sleeping earplugs and I don't hear that noise, when I sleeping, because it is not so loud. But I have a problem in the evening when I back from work. I don't know why for example cars or wind don't bother me (I sometimes sleep with open window in summer), but these sounds or some talks annoys me even if they quieter than cars or wind. What is your advice? Please help me. I want to feel calm and relax in my flat. [link] [comments] |
| Best rain music with seagull natural sound Posted: 17 Nov 2020 09:25 PM PST |
| Christian Meditation benefits? Posted: 17 Nov 2020 08:26 PM PST can christian meditation still increase greymatter and stop addiction same time? I wanna know also how does meditation increase gray matter in the first place [link] [comments] |
| Posted: 17 Nov 2020 08:04 AM PST I have noticed that when I try to be present and listen to what's around me and pay attention to my senses, I get a visceral reaction of anxiety and panic. It's really beginning to upset me because Presence is such an important thing and I'm in such a trance currently, and I feel now like I can't get out of it? I feel detached from what's around me on the daily and I'm stuck in my head 24/7, could this be impacting my ability to be present? And if anyone could shine some light on why presence is bringing me anxiety that would be great :) [link] [comments] |
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