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    Wednesday, March 3, 2021

    Meditation: How to forgive yourself and move on

    Meditation: How to forgive yourself and move on


    How to forgive yourself and move on

    Posted: 02 Mar 2021 11:11 AM PST

    I've been trying to meditate more often to better manage my anxious thoughts. Many of these thoughts are on my perceived fuckups in the past, and how I hurt others. I think I would have moved past my own mistakes if they only affected myself, but the fact that I have hurt others has significantly impacted me.

    Does anyone have advice for dealing with these thoughts? Or How to forgive yourself?

    submitted by /u/mleibowitz97
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    Meditating helps keep anger from turning into hate.

    Posted: 02 Mar 2021 10:23 PM PST

    I've been feeling a lot of anger lately due to people and their extremely hurtful words. I find that loving kindness meditation helps release those feelings of anger which means the feelings don't fester and turn into things like hate. It's been such a release at night to meditate. I usually am able to sleep easier afterwards because I release the negative feelings.

    submitted by /u/MrsKHall
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    Huge Progress Made

    Posted: 02 Mar 2021 05:07 AM PST

    After spending hours and hours practicing mindfulness, I began to notice that throughout the day there were many moments which I could have used to be present and clear minded, but instead I got on Instagram and Tiktok, which had literally the exactly opposite effect on me. It made me compare my self to friends and others I don't even know, and it made me focused on the past or the future. After years of addiction to these platforms, I deactivated all but a few that I did not feel gave me problems. It is a night and day difference. Instead of looking for distractions and the next dopamine fix, I am able to take moments all throughout the day to wake up to the present moment and get out of my head and my self. This is making me a better employee, a better husband, and a better friend.

    Another place where I have made progress is in the idea of seeing work as play. Alan Watts talks a lot about this. Try making no distinction between the two. Treat work as if it was your favorite hobby. I have a friend in my same career and he loves his job, and I realized it's because he looks at it differently than I do. I'm working on this, but so far in this past week, it's really helped. I try to look at challenges in work like the next level of a video game, and think of myself as one of the best players on the team who can win the match. Give it a try. What if you could learn to view work as play? How much happier would you be? How much better at work would you be if you became passionate about it?

    I have so much to learn, but I wanted to share some things that have significantly helped me. Best wishes on this journey.

    submitted by /u/masterV56
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    I chose to wake at 4 today

    Posted: 03 Mar 2021 01:00 AM PST

    Work starts at 7, so I'm going to try my first 2 hour sit. I usually do 30 minutes to an hour. Let's see how it goes. :)

    submitted by /u/SnooGiraffes2955
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    Full 10 minutes of meditation, finally!

    Posted: 02 Mar 2021 09:34 PM PST

    Meditation went so well today, that was the first time in 2 weeks of trying that I have been able to sit there and be peaceful for a full 10 minutes. I wasn't stressing about anything it felt so good.

    submitted by /u/LifeChangesNow44
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    17 tips for meditators

    Posted: 03 Mar 2021 12:52 AM PST

    Hello, my friends! I hope you have a great day today :)

    According to the Headspace App, I have been meditating for almost 800 hours. I usually meditate from 2 to 3 hours a day. I do not have a personal teacher. Everything I have learned, I gathered from different resources: books, videos, articles, forums, talks, and my own experience. Today, I want to share with you 17 tips that might help you to deal with the most popular hindrances in meditation practice. These tips are divided into three categories: tips before, during, and after meditation. I hope you find it useful.

    Tips before meditation

    1. Meditate regularly and start small. One of the most important things at the beginning is consistency. Schedule your sitting, start small, and do not overwhelm yourself. We do not want to cultivate aversion towards the practice. If 20 minutes is too much, then meditate for 10 minutes. If 10 minutes is too much, then meditate for 5 minutes. Even 30 seconds is okay, just do it regularly. I'd also recommend meditating first thing in the morning because it sets your intention to be mindful throughout the day. But it's fine to meditate whenever you can.
    2. Remind yourself about the benefits of meditation. If you are a scientifically-driven person, find articles, researches, and talks that cover the benefits of meditation. If you have an experience-oriented mindset, then try to notice your mind shifts before and after meditations. You can encourage yourself by reading stories about experienced practitioners, stories about enlightenment. You can also think about benefits not only for yourself but for those around you. By meditating, you don't only benefit yourself. You benefit everyone around you since you become more calm, attentive, and compassionate.
    3. Find friends who are interested in meditation or join a community. If there aren't any, create a new one. You don't have to meditate together and at the same time. The main point here is to encourage and inspire each other when tough times come. There will be a lot of ups and downs in meditation. And if you have support, it's wonderful.
    4. Working hard doesn't work. It creates a lot of tension in your mind. Try to set a more flexible intention: 'I will do my best. But if something goes wrong, it's fine.' Don't try to concentrate too hard and sit as still as a stone. There was a conversation between teacher and student. Student asked: 'How long does it take to get enlightenment?', teacher: 'about 20 years. Student: 'What if I try harder?', teacher: 'then 40 years.
    5. Do walking meditation as well as sitting meditation. Walking meditation has the same benefits for our minds as well as sitting meditation. But it also has additional benefits for our health since we sit on our chairs for many hours every day. I've never seen anyone substitute sitting meditation by walking meditation entirely, but you can definitely alternate them. From one teacher, I heard that if you do 20 minutes of sitting meditation, you can then do 20 minutes of walking meditation. But I myself incline to the Zen tradition, they usually do from 30 to 60 minutes of sitting meditation, and then do from 10 to 15 minutes of walking meditation. But you can definitely experiment with the practice and find a way that suits you best.
    6. Sit no more than an hour. According to the books that I've read, most of the monks recommend meditating for no more than an hour. If you feel that you can sit for more than an hour, you should switch to walking meditation. When it comes to retreat, I assume that you can do intensive meditation that lasts more than an hour, but I'd recommend doing so on a regular basis.
    7. Do not think about meditation in terms of minutes. Meditation is about moments of being aware, rather than about minutes of sitting.

    Tips during meditation

    1. It's not necessary to sit cross-legged. You can choose whatever position is comfortable for you. However, I would not recommend meditating in a lying-down position unless you have some health issues or you are about to sleep. If you are healthy, do sitting meditation. The dilemma might arise when you think about whether you should meditate cross-legged or on a chair. A lot of experienced teachers recommend choosing the most comfortable position. However, I noticed that if I meditate on a chair, I can meditate for more than an hour without any pain and difficulties. But when it comes to a cross-legged position, sitting for more than 40 minutes starts to be challenging because of the pain in my legs. So I have to make friends with the pain. I think it is useful. Nevertheless, don't create an aversion towards your practice, try to find the balance.
    2. Use your distractions as a support for meditation: pain, tiredness, noise, itches, etc. You can definitely use them as an object of meditation. If there is a lot of noise at home, someone starts using a vacuum cleaner, don't become angry. You can leave your breath for a while and focus your attention on these sounds. It also can be applied to pain, sleepiness, itches, whatever. As long as you maintain awareness, no matter what happens when you practice, your practice is meditation. If you remember that awareness of whatever occurs is meditation, then meditation becomes much easier than you thought before. So, you can definitely minimize distractions, but don't avoid them altogether.
    3. Know your limits. We've talked about observations of the pain and other unpleasant states of mind. But when it's getting unbearable, feel free to adjust your position, scratch your itch, or move a little bit to wake yourself up. Try to do it mindfully. It's unwise to sit through these kinds of sensations and mental states. Real diligence doesn't mean forcing yourself beyond your natural limits; it means simply trying to do your best. It means finding a comfortable middle ground between being too relaxed and too wound up. ****A great tip I've found recently is to stay with your first and the second thought to fidget, or move, or scratching your itch. But for the third time, you can move mindfully.
    4. Do not push through your meditation session. When you turn on a timer, it does not mean you should immediately start focusing on your breath. Try to feel your cushion, scan your body a little bit, rest in your awareness. Kindly prepare yourself.
    5. Breathe naturally. Do not control your breathing. Sometimes it feels pleasant. Sometimes it doesn't. Just take a back seat and enjoy being the observer. Allow everything to be as it is.
    6. Do not try to stop your thinking or suppress your emotions. Thoughts will never disappear, and you cannot escape from them. It's a point of meditation. Just accept them. If we consider our minds as an ocean, then thoughts, sensations, and feelings are waves, and by trying to suppress them or attach to them, you only create more waves. When you try to stop your thinking, it means you are bothered by it. But if you are not bothered by these waves, gradually they will become calmer and calmer.
    7. Be kind to yourself. Don't punish yourself when you realize that you get distracted. Try to bring your attention back to the breath in a gentle way, without being angry.

    Tips after meditation

    1. Take a moment to recognize your emotions, feelings, and sensations. How do you feel? Do you have a lot of thoughts? What about body sensations? Do not think about it, just feel. Scan yourself for a few minutes, don't jump away immediately when the timer goes on.
    2. Do not judge your practice. If someone tells you there is no bad practice, you may laugh. And I did it as well. But it is true. I would even say that when you feel that your practice is horrible it is actually a beneficial one. I do not want to say that you should deliberately weaken your meditation practice. It would be strange. But when times get tough, be grateful for these unpleasant states and keep practicing. Just do your best and do not be discouraged by your progress. The only bad meditation I know is the one you have not done.
    3. Be as mindful as you can throughout the day. The main goal of meditation is to become good at life, not at the sitting, and to be aware of all the waking hours. You can use stickers, reminders, or any apps. Try to be mindful when you are walking, eating, talking, working, whatever. As long as you keep meditating, you will experience more and more moments of mindfulness in your daily life, and it will change your life a lot in a good sense.

    Final words

    These were my tips. I tried to be as accurate as possible, but I don't know your background. Therefore, something can be misunderstood, and you should be aware of it. If you have any personal questions, feel free to ask me. Thanks for your attention and I hope you have a great day. 🙂

    submitted by /u/melniqoff
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    Started meditating to deal with anxiety a couple of weeks ago, can't tell if I've been suppressing or if this is just a part of the process

    Posted: 03 Mar 2021 01:22 AM PST

    One of the only times in my life I experience actual anxiety/anxious intrusive thoughts is during the early stages of my romantic relationships. It usually gets triggered after the "honeymoon" phase since then the intensity of the relationship usually simmers down a bit and my brain automatically thinks it's because the other person doesn't like me anymore/ as much all of a sudden. This happened a couple of weeks ago so one of the ways to cope I suppose was trying meditation. I've definitely noticed an improvement as I don't experience the physical manifestation of the anxiety nor do I spiral anymore, so most of the time during the day I'm fine. However, I've noticed that sometimes I wake up during the middle of the night or right after I wake up my thoughts aren't as "tame" so the feeling of anxiety pops up. Feels like this is a side effect of suppression so I've been somewhat concerned recently. Any advice?

    tl;dr I get anxious during the early stages of relationships so I got into meditation to deal with it and "fix" it, and I'm fine during the day, but sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night full of anxiety.

    submitted by /u/Alvikj
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    Can anyone recommend a short 5-15 minute meditation on YouTube for beginners? Thank you in advance

    Posted: 02 Mar 2021 05:06 PM PST

    What are Books and People who help get to Samadhi?

    Posted: 02 Mar 2021 07:32 PM PST

    Just appreciate that feeling of having pause and taking that time out for yourself.

    Posted: 02 Mar 2021 06:48 AM PST

    Just a reflection on what meditation has given me

    Posted: 02 Mar 2021 01:50 PM PST

    I've been meditating 4-7 days a week for the last 4 or so years. It's helped me in so many ways and especially with sleep.

    I (ab)used alcohol to fall asleep far to often. A few months into meditation and my sleep problems suddenly vanished. Now I might have one night a year where i really struggle, but thats it. It's a relief I can't describe. Laying awake, exhausted, until the sun comes up is a type of torture I wouldn't wish on anyone.

    Now I just lay down, if I feel my mind racing I start to meditate until I feel that sleep is coming and I turn over and fall asleep a few minutes later. It's absolutely mind blowing to me.

    The reason I started meditating was that I discovered I have ADHD as an adult, and my doctor suggested I try it. It took more time but even procrastination and handling emotions has become so much easier. Because I'm aware of my emotions in a much broader sense.

    The thing that really made me realize how powerful tool this is was 14 months ago. I accepted that I had a problem with alcohol. I wasn't drunk during the day, and I didn't ruin anyone else's life. I wasn't a text book alcoholic. But I craved my six pack every single Friday, and often Saturday (sometimes Wednesday). I didn't even realize how attached I was until I quit. I would catch myself during the week thinking "this sucks, but it's almost Friday". I've always viewed my Friday beers as something sacred, medicinal, almost healthy. And to change that view I had to see my self from the outside. I had to scrutinize my "alter ego" in a way. It was painful, but impossible to unsee after the fact.

    It turns out though I didn't need the beer. I needed a way to calm my mind. And that's what meditation has taught me.

    submitted by /u/kjarkr
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    Help please Im stressing out

    Posted: 02 Mar 2021 10:57 PM PST

    Hello Im stress a lot can someone motivate me to meditate to relax.How to get started showing me a free video tutorial?What recommendations you guys want me to do? I want to change my life.Some people to guide me to accploish my dreams.Thanks for your time.All have great day and night.Take care all.

    submitted by /u/Aggravating_Sleep203
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    Finding meaning

    Posted: 02 Mar 2021 03:52 PM PST

    Following a post on consumerism, I made a point about the book, "Sapiens" by Yuval Harari. It is a wonderful book that has helped me understand my need to find meaning in an increasingly chaotic and unsatisfactory world. Reflecting on what is worthwhile in life, I am trying to apply any insights to meditation practice. One of the most important insights is that meditation gives my existence meaning. I approached meditation within a religious framework initially, but this is not really important. What is essential is that I can see progress — going from a scattered mind to a more clear and more calm mind. I can see that most of the things that matter to me are not things that I can buy — time, calm, insight, compassion, empathy. Sometimes I sit with a cup of tea and just note, "tea". This gives me joy. I never thought that much about tea. The history in Asia, the curing of the leaves, the different types, the optimal preparation. To feel warmth in my mouth, the flavors that cost my tongue and the scent in my nose and simple enjoy tea is new to me. The fact that anything so simple and wonderful is right here, available, and joyful is a new way of thinking that I was never going to get from hard work and a nice paycheck.

    And these things are all around all the time and free. In fact the best tea in the world can't give me enjoyment unless I am willing to be present for the experience of it. That is true for a vacation, a skill, friends, music, a book, a post on this sub or a walk around the block. Nothing can give me a sense of wonder unless I am available to wonder. This is the most important thing meditation has taught me.

    TL;DR Find something that gives you a sense of meaning. Meditation expands the choices.

    submitted by /u/aFiachra
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    Anyone familiar with learned helplessness?

    Posted: 02 Mar 2021 06:15 AM PST

    If so, have you figured out any ways of unlearning it?

    submitted by /u/AlexEmS
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    Meditation practice lacking after around 700 days of daily practice using Headspace. Any advice on new practices or how to regain the benefits?

    Posted: 02 Mar 2021 03:58 PM PST

    So as the title says, I've been meditating for around 700 days or so. In 2021 I started the Headspace 365 course which doubled my usual daily practice of 10 minutes (which is nothing I know!) To 20. In this change I've noticed a definite lack of interest or the loss of benefits of meditation.

    I want to stick to 20 minute meditations but do you have any suggestions on how to improve my meditation - whether I need to move away from Headspace, tips or even a different form of meditation.

    Have a great day!

    submitted by /u/dertidferris
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    Is it okay to breathe diaphragmatically and from chest while meditating?

    Posted: 02 Mar 2021 08:39 PM PST

    Whenever I sit and meditate I feel restricted when I just breath from my stomach, I feel like I'm not breathing at all because I feel like I push my belly all the way out and it feels tight, each time I take in air it feels incomplete and I know it's feel complete if I also allowed my chest to expand, but I've heard it's sort of frowned upon to breath from your chest, is it okay to combine them? Sorry if I didn't explain well

    submitted by /u/Pxnyboy
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    Pranayama experienced practitioners?

    Posted: 02 Mar 2021 08:32 PM PST

    Is this Meditation?

    Posted: 02 Mar 2021 08:56 AM PST

    It dawned on me that maybe meditation is not just breathing and letting thoughts pass through? Ive always heard when you meditate to let whatever comes in pass and mot dwell on it. However, sometimes when im stressed about a particular situation I will sit with my eyes closed and think about whats bothering me. Why is this event bothering me? How did I become stressed? Is this something worth letting control me? Usually after I work through all the scenarios and reasons I realize that it was not worth the stress to begin with. I find it meditative but im not sure if it really is considered meditation or just critically working through my problems.

    submitted by /u/subconix
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    How to deal with new uncomfortable situations/people

    Posted: 02 Mar 2021 01:24 PM PST

    Hello I'm a beginner thats on day 120 of meditation

    So to summarize everything! Yesterday after I finished my exam one of my classmates who I don't know texted me asking for the questions that came in the exam. I just told him basic stuff and moved on, but later he texted me saying the teacher miraculously found his phone and our chat with him. He said I might fail or something. And ever since then it has been 3 hours and my chest feels a little heavy.

    I feel like this is what happens when I try to help someone, it goes wrong somehow, I feel uncomfortable with this new situation and my chest doesn't like it lol

    Any words that might make my body understand I'm ok, even tho u might be failing

    submitted by /u/Nanoer
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    I’m Trying To Meditate But I Haven’t Been Used To It Enough To Do It While Angry, But I’ll Also Be Damned If I Don’t. I’m Borderline On Being Physically Violent & A Screaming Rage

    Posted: 02 Mar 2021 07:12 PM PST

    For those who have done ego work... (asking for advice)

    Posted: 02 Mar 2021 04:57 PM PST

    For those who do ego work how do you respond to other people's ego? Once I've dissolved my own ego and personified my inner anxieties as part of my ego, interactions with people become... interesting? (of course I'm not judging everyone I interact with, I want people to come as they are just how I am able to come as I am)

    When someone gives you critique that sounds like they are projecting their ego on you how do you respond? (ex. "You talk too much" maybe this person thinks I talk too much because their own ego is holding them back from talking?) I'm someone who loves and grows off critiques but should I listen to a critique that stems from someone else's ego or possible insecurities?

    I would love to hear this thread's thoughts! I'm not really sure where else to ask about this other than here, but if you have any threads please let me know!

    submitted by /u/rivitt
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    Looking out for my future self

    Posted: 02 Mar 2021 10:36 PM PST

    Hello! I have returned to meditation after an 8 year break. I struggle with symptoms of chronic asthma and CPTSD, and I'm using meditation to manage and rework some things. I'm only a week and a half or so in, and last night I had my first panic attack since starting the practice. I noticed I had difficulty calming down. Are there any videos or techniques that help for this? Just want to know how to navigate this in the future should it reoccur . Ps, I really like constant HZ vids or binaural beats (nothing too busy, I'm a musician, and find myself paying too much attention to dissecting the noise lol) but maybe something else could be helpful. Thank you :)

    submitted by /u/britney_smears
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    Dealing with anxiety and fear

    Posted: 02 Mar 2021 06:07 PM PST

    Probably more of a philosophical question, but as a Christian when I feel anxious or stressed out about something I try to remind myself of various things that are scripture related: my anxiety could be a form of being given over to death for Jesus' sake (2 Cor. 4:11), or that all the random thoughts and emotions in my head are really God's thoughts and emotions within me (Col 1:27, Luke 17:21). Being able to use scripture to calm my fears has at times been an effective tool, but at other times it has not.

    I'm curious if there is a teaching in the philosophy around meditation (maybe Buddhism) that y'all have discovered and used to disassociate fear/anxiety with the situation you are in when negative emotions arise.

    submitted by /u/StrawberryLast
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